Starting today

Lord, You know my heart, You know my thoughts and my desires. Lord, God, I pray I can get out of this funk I have been in and get back to You. I have been running, hiding, mocking, sneering and just plain denying You for some time now. I don't know when it started. I don't know when I got so hardened but I stand here at this place in my life and realize I am so far away from that place I was at with You years ago. I don't feel like I'm in Your arms, Your cleft, under Your protection. I feel like I have allowed satan to come in and destroy my spirit, my joy, my happiness, my hope and my trust in You. Lord, help me. Lord, help me to know where I am supposed to be, what I am supposed to be doing.. I feel so lost... I know I haven't been in your word like I should and I haven't prayed to You like I should. How in the world do I expect to hear from You? Lord have mercy on me. I don't deserve Your mercy or Your grace or Your love. Help me to believe that You love me though because You are Holy and perfect and You made me. Lord God, I am so confused and I know I am not seeking You like I should. I want to.. I just can't seem to get it together. Help me Lord. In Jesus name, Amen